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Pets are Family

You can relax.  Whether you’re expecting a long day at work, or going on a long vacation, your pet is in good hands at Schnortzville. Our focus is on providing services that contribute to a healthy and happy environment for your pet. The signature product in Schnortzville is quality, one-on-one care. Whether your pet is visiting us for a day of play, or for an extended stay, you’ll feel secure knowing that your furry family member is in a warm and loving environment. 

Balance is the Key

Schnortzville Pet Spa & Doggie Daycare offers a daycare environment that balances play, rest and exercise based on the temperament, age, and size of your dog.  A supervised, structured environment increases the safety, well-being, and overall enjoyment of your pet while he/she visits us.  The physical and mental well-being of your pet is the focus of our business.  Happy pets (and their owners) are our priority, period. 

Staff

Our staff is pet CPR trained, and we also have an animal behaviorist on staff to monitor dog play, keeping the dogs safe, and having organized games for the dogs' mental and physical well being. In the near future, we will also offer a fitness program and group classes in the evening and on weekends. One-on-one training (basic manners) is available while your dog is at the facility for daycare or boarding.  Our facility is staffed 24/7, so pets are not left unattended during the night. 

Affordable, Transparent Pricing

We don’t hide our prices, which you’ll likely find reasonable and competitive.  Call anytime for a grooming quote and/or e-mail us with any of your questions or concerns.  If a price isn’t listed on this site, it’s  because we are still figuring out our costs and margins.  Grooming prices vary with size and breed, so please feel free to call us for your price. 

COUGAR 'NOT FROM SCHNORTZVILLE'
COUGAR KILLED | Cops, Mayor Defend Shooting as Schnortzville Council Investigates What Brought Predator to Town
April 16, 2008
(CHICAGO) How did a rogue big cat, shot by Chicago Police, wind up in fashionable Roscoe Village this week? That question was on the mind of each and every        member of the Schnortzville Council (except for Elijah Bell, who was thinking mostly about sinking his teeth into a corned beef sandwich).
 
“Heck, I’ve never been to Roscoe Village,” offered frequent Schnortzville resident      Roxie Erdman.
 
“Never heard of it,” said her cousin Bella Liebovich. “They sure he didn’t come from these here parts?”
 
“That cougar was not from Schnortzville,” said Artie Fufkin, spokesperson for Schnortzville Pet Spa & Doggie Daycare. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: THE    BIG KITTY AIN’T FROM SCHNORTVILLE.”
 
“We haven’t seen a cat that big ‘round these parts since James Williams left town,”   said Honey Park (Lab/Beagle).
 
“I wouldn’t be surprised if it belonged to one of the neighbors,” added Mookie     Schuman (Collie).
 
But based on a necropsy performed earlier this week, there’s little doubt that the    cougar was a wild animal and not an escaped exotic pet.
 
Administrators from Cook County Animal Control said that the cat was missing each  and every hallmark of a kept animal—his incisors, or gripping teeth, were intact, as   were his claws. And there was no microchip inserted in his body, nor were there   reports from sanctioned sanctuaries of a missing cougar.
 
One possible lead came from the Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources,      which had been tracking a cougar through the replicated Asian swamps of Kenosha. Animal Control will conduct a DNA comparison and other tests in an attempt to try       and figure out where the cat migrated from.
 
“Wouldn’t surprise me if it came from Wisconsin,” sighed Council President Lucy   Burger (Lab/Boxer). “Just like Jon Lepeska and the rest of the Packer riff-raff.”
 
Another source suggested that the cat might have been following Michigan railway
paths through Indiana to Chicago. “It's possible he was chased off his territory by disgruntled militia folks,” said Fufkin. “All of whom carry guns, knives, and cheap  whiskey inside their Bibles.”
 
“This young cougar came west looking for love and acceptance,” said President      Burger with a deep sigh. “And all it did was get him shot. It’s like some sick Ted    Nugent fantasy.”

SCHNORTZVILLE CATCHES BASEBALL FEVER                                                                      COUNCIL DEBATE CREATES DOG DAY AFTERNOON                                                                            March 21, 2008                                                                                                                (CHICAGO)  Schnortzville was panting with baseball fever this week as fuzzy fans of America’s favorite pastime took in opening day with a little help from WGN, Comcast Sports Net, and Sirius Satellite Radio.

Lucy Burger, the only member of Schnortzville to attend an actual Major League  Baseball game, led the festivities with fresh water and a bag of Gary Busey-flavored treats. 

“Delicious,” said the infamous Cooper Schnortz, who wore his White Sox collar and     #24 Joe Crede cotton underpants to celebrate the occasion.   

The feel-good day was not without controversy, however. Collie pup Mookie Blaylock   tore up the peaceful pea patch by authoring a Schnortzville Council resolution           (SCR-101) proclaiming the Chicago Cubs as World Series Champions. “Simply expressing my loyalties,” he said.

White Sox fans Lucy Burger and Greta Kisner were not amused. In fact, they worked behind the scenes to table the motion.  “Mookie should stick to basketball,” said Dachshund Chili Schumacher.  “Besides, the resolution itself is outrageous. Titles      are earned, not given away . . . unless, of course, you’re a friend of Todd Stroger.”

“Plus,” Greta added, “The Cubs haven’t won anything in our lifetime.”

“Well, the Sox haven’t won anything in my lifetime,” sassed the 5-month-old Blaylock.

 “Don’t be barking down the pickle barrel,” cautioned Lucy Burger. “The Cubs haven’t won anything in anyone’s lifetime.”

 “I proclaim the Cleveland Indians as this year’s champs,” interrupted Australian Shepherd Maximus Sisi. He attempted, unsuccessfully, to amend the resolution in support of the Tribe.

 Not to be outdone, Lab-Sharpei Milo Beatle succeeded in suspending the rules in   order to re-dedicate the resolution to “the Chicago White Schnortz.” 

 “It was a brilliant parliamentary maneuver,” said Rocky Peeps, a Colorado    Pomeranian. “Too bad the dog doesn’t know his Sox from his Schnortz. I’m afraid        that the esteemed Beatle’s unbridled charisma is cursed by a lack of attention to    detail.”

Once it was confirmed that there was no such team as the Chicago White Schnortz,     the debate shifted in a new direction as Tanner Finn (Welsh Pembroke Corgi) proclaimed that the entire month belonged to Al Pacino, not Major League Baseball.  

It was a pronouncement that proved very popular in Schnortzville.  The resolution,    finally, was amended unanimously to proclaim April as Al Pacino Month in     Schnortzville. In the final version, there was no mention of baseball.

“It makes sense,” explained Elijah Bell (Malamute-Samoyed). “Why, Major League Baseball doesn’t even have one team named after us. It’s insulting. In the American League East alone, they have two teams named after chickens.”

"It’s A Dog Day Afternoon here everyday, baby” said Lucy Burger. “So, I ask my constituents this: who needs chickens when you got Schnortzes?”

(Biff Lorenzo and Harvey Krapps contributed to this article.)

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